This Woman's Abusive Texts to a Man over Sex Prove Consent Applies to Everyone
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In a plot twist that only the internet can make, a Minnesota man behind a viral text message exchange of a woman going on an abusive, profanity-laced rant after being denied sex recently came forward on YouTube to say that it didn't really happen. And although it was fabricated, the exchange has sent a powerful message about consensual sex: that it goes both ways, and should be practiced by both partners regardless of gender.
Gabriel Jordan Wilson, the man behind the messages, is responding to various stories and tweets, and admitting it was staged (he says so at 0:2:53). He says that he can't believe the exchange has gone so viral. Now, he's sharing why he posted the messages to begin with: He wanted to point out the double standard.
YouTube/gabrielwilson00 - youtube.com
"So here's the kicker. My scenario wasn't real. It was staged. It was solely to see what that was, what the reaction would be with the roles being reversed," Wilson explains.
He describes what motivated the post:
"The whole point of me sharing this story was to point out the double standard ‘cause this does happen to men. Men get sexually assaulted and raped and coerced into sex just like women do, but you don’t hear about it because men are supposed to keep their feelings inside of them and they’re not allowed to talk about the things that happen to them because they’re men and they need to be strong, and all that stuff."
You can see his original Facebook post:
Facebook/Gabriel Jordan Wilson - facebook.com
Check out the full video and explanation behind it:
In recent years, many people have called out the troubling nature of the idea that a woman "owes" a man sex, so this text message, although apparently staged, shows that men can face pressure to have sex on dates as well.
The text exchange, which recently went viral on Imgur, opens with a woman asking her date why they didn't have sex the previous night. She complains that she groomed herself nicely because she assumed she would get sex out of the encounter. Rather than accepting his response, she presses him when he says he "didn't feel like" doing it:
.jpg?auto=format&crop=faces&fit=crop&q=60&w=736&ixlib=js-1.1.0 "Text")
Imgur - imgur.com
She goes on to ask whether he is gay, insinuating that this is the only reason a man would choose to deny sex from a woman:
Imgur - imgur.com
She also suggests that he must have a small penis to say no to her:
Imgur - imgur.com
Many people took the side of the man in the Imgur comments section, agreeing with the sentiment that "no means no" also applies to men who don't want to have sex:
Imgur - imgur.com
Imgur - imgur.com
The idea that someone owes another person sex after a date contributes to rape culture.
Though it is unclear who is behind the text message exchange, the viral image provides an important lesson on consent. Both men and women alike, have the right to decide when they are ready to have sex with their dates. Both people have to want to have sex for it to be consensual, and this is a problem facing men as well as women.
Some men fall victim to non-consensual sexual encounters, a reality that is often overlooked in our culture. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), around three percent of American men have "experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime." From 1995 and 2010, men made up nearly 10 percent of rape and sexual assault victims.
Update: 4/24 1:19 p.m. PST: This story was updated to include information from the YouTube video explaining that the text message exchange was staged and has since gone viral.
